Day in the Life of Mother and Child with Asperger's
By: Mom
Morning
Before school:
Drag self out of bed after hitting snooze button umpteen times. I take my antidepressant.
Try to coax resistant son, Hunter out of bed. He has no sense of urgency and is taking his time playing with the dog, talking to the cats, and lets’ not forget his whole world of inanimate objects, rocks, sticks, and water.
Resort to helping him get his clothes picked out and put on. Assist him in getting teeth cleaned, hair possibly brushed, and the almost impossible at his age… don’t forget the deodorant. Push him in getting breakfast going, lunch packed, and assist in making sure he gets his array of medicines while all the while the bus will be here in 10 or so minutes. Hunter watches the clock the whole time and will tell you down to the minute when the bus should arrive. He knows the time, but has no sense of urgency of getting it done in time for the bus. Help Hunter find his shoes. Today is one of those days he misses the bus. I'm glad I can get his brother to get up and take him to school. I feel stressed as a mother with Asperger's of a child with Asperger's.
The Race is on:
I am now stressed and behind schedule to head out to work. I need breakfast, lunch, and need to find my own shoes as I have had no time to prepare myself as I assisted Hunter this morning. So it’s jump into my clothes, brush my teeth, throw the deodorant on, and prepare to RUN out the door as I only have 30 minutes to get to work by 7:00 am. I decide to skip breakfast, and will pick something up for lunch. Oh my, I now have no idea where my car keys are because Hunter went to the car to get one of his rocks he had left in my car, he is now at school, and the keys are mysteriously hiding from me. OK...just think like Hunter…where would he put them.. What was he thinking? Ah, found them, sitting in the little box that is in his room where he hid his rocks for the day. Whew so now run, run, run to get to the office to clock in at 6:59 am. Today work is crazy and the day is gone before I can get everything done. I stay the few extra minutes to try and get a couple more things done. The time is now 5:45 pm and I remember today Hunter has got a soccer game and needs to be there by 6:30 pm. Off and running to make it home. Get on cell phone and get Hunter to take his 6 pm medicines, locate his clothes for the game, ask if he has his homework competed, and check and see what we can have for dinner before we get there.
Soccer Game:
Arrive at soccer game at 6:27 pm and telling Hunter to please hurry and get his shoes on as he is expected to be with the team in three minutes. Watch the JV soccer game and the Varsity soccer games as Hunter is the team manager and helps assist both teams. He loves this and is making some of his first friends. I ask Hunter who was that boy you were sitting with at the game? His replies, “my friend”. What is your friends name? “I don’t know.” How is he your friend? “Mom I just sit with him, and he is my friend.”
Home:
The house looks like a bomb-site. I ask where his planner is, and look at his homework. Whew.. he was good today and most all the homework has been completed. I sign off on it.
I check my mail and emails. Do the essential parts of housework as quickly as possible in between telling Hunter come on…. get in the shower and be quick as it is already late, 15 minutes later he has yet to make it to his room to get clean clothes and get to the shower. I go and get him to the shower. Be quick so you can get your clothes out for school tomorrow, let’s get your lunch made, and put your book bag together so you won’t be stressed in the morning. While he is in the shower I pick up the clothes that he left in middle of the floor when he got ready for soccer tonight, feed the dogs, cats, and wipe down a counter of two in the kitchen. Sweep floor and know that I will mop it before going to bed. 30 minutes have passed and I still hear the shower running and Hunter talking up a storm. I holler in, come on Hunter… be quick. I am just washing my face! Ugh! I go and tell Hunter if you love me, please save me a few drops of hot water so I can get a shower. “Okay Mommy” I love you! I love you too Hunter. 10 more minutes and he finally emerges from the bathroom. Son, how in the world did you spend 40 minutes in the shower and not manage to wash your hair? Back in and Get Her Done!
Evening
Let’s brush your teeth and get ready for bed. I will meet you in your room. I arrive and I see no clothes picked out, no lunches made, and I see rocks, sticks, paper and many other things on his bed. We clean them off so he can get in. We read and do a bible devotion and then Lights out! Wrong… he is afraid of the dark and must sleep with the lights on. I must sit quietly in his room until he falls asleep. OK… now 10:30 PM and I now can reassess what needs to be done.
Home:
Today's chore is clean up the dinner dishes, mop the floor, put laundry in, fold a load, and pull something out of the freezer for tomorrow’s dinner.
I need to clean a bathroom, and wash the dogs, and fold clothes. At least the washing gets clean (until covered in cat fur). Whether it gets folded and put away is anyone's guess. Meanwhile, it makes a cozy cat bed. I don’t end up getting the clothes folded and put away, or get the bathroom cleaned. But I let it go and think, "oh well, another day." No point beating myself up about it. Asperser’s Syndrome makes parenting so much harder.
Trying to recover:
Eventually, there is calm in the house as it is 11:30 pm.
I watch some TV or read a book and drag myself off to bed.
Cure for autism:
· Hunter and his brother Logan were in their bedroom as I was cooking dinner. I could hear them arguing and bantering back and forth, Yes, No. Each time the words were getting louder, and louder. I asked what is going on? Mom, tell Hunter that he is being dumb. What do you mean? We were talking and I asked Hunter wouldn’t it be cool if they found a cure for autism and he could then be normal? Hunter said no, he did not want to have the cure. I asked Hunter, honey if there were a cure why wouldn’t you want to be cured? His response just blew me away. He said “Because then I wouldn’t be who God created me to be.” He made me who I am. WOW! If this child can be happy at whom God has made him, I can be happy for God blessing me with him. That day I realized if he is OK with his autism, then why can’t the rest of the world be OK with it?
· I am the luckiest gal in the world to have been given the opportunity to be his Mom! I would not trade a million dollars for my son to be anything more than what God planned and created him to be!
